


This town ain't big enough (for the lot of us)

by Bill_Longbow



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Multiverse, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 06:45:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12699540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: Written for the lovely prompt:Identity Porn+Multiverse. Two Steve's from different universes get into a fight over which of their crushes is better: Tony Stark or Iron Man





	This town ain't big enough (for the lot of us)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cap Iron Man Community](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cap+Iron+Man+Community).



> Written for the lovely prompt: 
> 
> Identity Porn+Multiverse. Two Steve's from different universes get into a fight over which of their crushes is better: Tony Stark or Iron Man

It was quite frankly, a mess. The portal kept randomly opening and delivering them onto his private floor. So far there were fourteen Steves and Tonys in various shapes and sizes scattered around his living room. Of course he knew the multiverse to be a thing, but to actually see the evidence chatting on his couch took some getting used to.  
  
There was a female Steve, going by Stevie, who was married to her Tony as well. They had quickly helped escort a hulk Tony paired with a tiny Steve to the hulk out chambers, at their own request. A pair of superpowered students had apparently found the kitchen and were happily munching on cheese while pointing out the other couples. Another college pair, with a non enhanced but still beefy Steve, were sitting hand in hand in a corner, looking wide eyed around themselves. There was a punk pair (tiny Steve and like Tony with impressive Mohawks) and a medieval pair (both burly men in armour) who were exchanging jokes. A pair from the future seemed to be bored with the whole thing.  
  
The saddest pair by far were a small, brown eyed Tony, sporting a huge black eye, and a rumpled Steve. As soon as they were dropped on the floor the larger man rounded on the genius, demanding what he had done. Black eyed Tony had scrambled away and he, original Tony, had barely managed to keep him from spiralling into a panic attack while two Steves had a strong word with _that_ Steve.  
  
He pinched the bridge of his nose, they should assign them numbers, this was giving him a headache. He had sent word out to Strange already and the Sorcerer Supreme would be here shortly. In the meantime he and his Steve (he had written "mine" on the back of his neck with a sharpie, just to be safe) were trying their best to accommodate all their multiverse counterparts.  
  
Two Tonys had decided this was the chance of a lifetime, and were kissing each other in increasingly less PG fashion, their Steves looking like hungry wolves about to pounce.  
  
"Steve!"  
  
"I see them." His husband tried to reason with them but quickly gave up and pointed them to a guest room, his blush reaching all the way to his neck.  
  
Tony checked on a group who were pooling their knowledge and would A) get them all home and solve world hunger in the process, or B) design something so dangerous that Hela herself wouldn't want to mess with it.  
  
"Sir, there's another pair incoming."  
  
"Thanks, J." He hurried to the portal site and soon enough the specific hum of an impending portal opening could be heard. He readied his most warm and welcoming demeanour, but had to jump aside when an Iron Man and Cap duo came flying through. They barely managed to avoid colliding with the punk pair who whooped in delight.  
  
They landed in the middle of the room and took on a fighting stance. The knights drew their swords while the non enhanced students sidled closer to the elevator. Future Tony's armour enveloped him from within, like it melted from his bones. Other Tonys and Steves were without weapons but took on a fighting stance.  
  
Tony, _original_ Tony, jumped between the newcomers and the rest. "None of that, I will not have you shoot up my furniture, Pepper will kill me, and there's no-one that scares me more."  
  
There was a mumble of agreements behind him but one Steve asking quietly "what about Nat?" His Tony elbowing him in the ribs.  
  
"So kick back, relax, we are amongst ourselves after all."  
  
There seemed to be some communication going on between the two. Iron Man probably speaking on Cap's comm, who nodded or shook his head vigorously. Finally they reached an agreement. Cap put his shield on his back and Iron Man powered down the repulsors. They didn't put up their faceplate and cowl however.  
  
"You all seem like lovely people," Iron Man stated, "but there's no way of knowing you're not skrull or life model decoys. So if you don't mind we'll just go about our business."  
  
He mouthed 'what are skrulls?' at his Steve, who pulled up his shoulders as the armoured pair turned to leave.  
  
"Yeah, no can do, buddies, we don't know if _you_ aren't these things either so I'm afraid you're staying." Two Steves stepped in front of the elevator, arms crossed in front of their chests, and, oh dear, he lost his train of thoughts.  
  
"Fair enough," Cap conceded and pulled Iron Man to the side with him. The others went back to what they were doing but kept a wary eye out for the new pair.  
  
Tony tried to get his Steve to socialize with the newcomers, but he pretended to have to pee. Worst husband ever. So he sauntered over to the pair himself, hands in his pockets. 

"You can't be comfortable, don't you want to undress a bit? No surprise who you guys are here," he tried, wobbling back and forth on his feet.  
  
"But you are Steve Rogers and Tony Starks."  
  
"Yes."  
  
" _We're_ Captain America and Iron Man," Cap motioned between them.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Cap looked confused as far as his cowl allowed.  
  
"Tony Stark and Iron Man are the same here?" Maybe this wasn't the case in all universes?  
  
Behind Cap, Iron Man did a shut up gesture, shaking his head and cutting frantically across his neck.  
  
Tony held his hands up placently, but the Captain exclaimed, "That's preposterous, Iron Man is nothing like mister Stark."  
  
"What do you mean that's preposterous?" Tony narrowed his eyes at the cowled figure.  
  
"Iron Man is noble! He fights for freedom and against injustice. Stark only cares about... about," Cap was searching for a word when original Steve returned from the toilet and got into Cap's face.  
  
"Stark only cares about _what_ , Captain?" Only Steve could sound so threatening while being utterly polite, it was one of the things Tony loved about him.  
  
The Captain wasn't easily cowed though and drew himself up to his full height, attempting to stare down at Steve, which made him look slightly cross-eyed. "Stark is only interested in money and fame and women."

"Or men," a Tony in the back yelled.

The Captain chose to ignore this, as well as the thunderous expression on various Steve's faces. "Iron Man, however, sacrifices himself on a near daily basis to save others. He's a futurist because he not only believes in a better future but sees the way towards it and works tirelessly to get there." He looked shyly at Iron Man who seemed lost for words, too bad the armour didn't have a blush function.  
  
Steve most certainly _wasn't_ lost for words. "You're describing Tony there, you dimwit. Tony Stark is the best, most wonderful person you'll ever get a chance to meet. He is good in a way only few people are, because he chooses to be good, to do good, to believe in the good of others."  
  
The Captain snorted derisively. "You mean Iron Man, _Steve_. Stark uses his words to mock, Iron Man only jokes to lighten the mood, to make people feel better about themselves."  
  
"Tony doesn't mock people who don't deserve to be mocked. I think it's refreshing for someone to actually tell people what he thinks. Besides, maybe you're not smart enough to understand his humour, he is a genius after all."  
  
"That's a low blow, no wonder you and Stark get along so well."  
  
Tony groaned and Iron Man facepalmed himself. "Thank you Captain, for defending me but --.  
  
"I get along swimmingly, yes, WITH MY HUSBAND," Steve yelled at the Captain, about ready to hit the man.  
  
Although he could see the merits of a Steve versus Cap fight he was sure his furniture wouldn't make it, so he pulled on Steve's hand. "Steve, honey, let's leave Captain Oblivious and his Iron sidekick alone. You've defended my honour very valiantly, I think some kind of thanks is in order?" He batted his lashes in the way he knew would turn his husband to jell-o and kissed him properly.  
  
When he opened his eyes he saw that several Steve's were cuddling their Tony's and the Captain and Iron Man were murmuring softly, heads close together.  
  
"Sir, another portal is opening. It's master Strange."  
  
"Thank you, J, not a moment too soon."  
  
Strange made quick work of sending all the pairs back to their own universes. Only the four that had secluded themselves seemed sad to go. Iron Man was the last to leave, his Captain had already speedwalked through the portal. He walked up to Steve and lifted his faceplate. "Thanks for trying, I've been pushing those idiots to shag it out for years," Rhodey winked at him before closing the armour and flying home.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


End file.
